Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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