Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
