when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
