She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
