Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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