can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
