you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
