I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
