I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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