rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We have started to decorate penises.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
