I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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