he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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