Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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