I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
