Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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