Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
