I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want nice things and good sex
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
