Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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