Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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