i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wish my penis had a tongue
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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