So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize