Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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