She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
