I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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