it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
