I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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