HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
