Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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