If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Come on in and take your pants off
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