beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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