we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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