Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
