He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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