I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
