Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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