He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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