Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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