I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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