You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
