and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
