When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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