i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
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We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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