Buhtt sex?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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