I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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