I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
