we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
