i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
