i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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