Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
