he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
