she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
