She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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