i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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