My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
