fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
