Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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