It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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