wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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