Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
