Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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